The Adventures of the Stephens Family

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

Dear Lily


I've been having a hard time adjusting

I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that

 

Pulled the car into the driveway and looked out
I followed my fears and didn't get out
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your driveway

 

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

 

She lied and told you all of my cages were mental
So I got quiet and wasted all my potential
because my silence keeps her from getting so mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

 

You were my world, shaped like a sphere
I didn't stand up for us, and we ended up here
Pouring out my heart to my family
But I didn't pour the whiskey

 

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
At least I'm trying

 

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound
It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I miss is you

You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

 

And I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying
(And maybe I don't quite know what to say)
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
At least I'm trying



Monday, August 28, 2023

Finding JOY

FROM DRAFT - 02/05/2013

There is NOTHING that gives me greater JOY than to see peace in my son's soul. He truly has grown to become a strong, silly, thoughtful, PRESENT little 4 year old. If only I could see life the way he does. Yesterday he told me that before he was in my belly, he was in Jesus' heart. I asked him what he did there and he said. "I was in God's story!" And I have no doubt that this is isn't true. God sure knew what he was doing when he sent our Caiden to us.


Things to do besides being on your phone…

Something I never planned on as a parent was how much phones would be a part of our lives. When the boys were younger and didn't have access to technology (they didn't have their own iPad until 3rd grade) it was easy to keep them distracted with other activities. We would create things, build legos, do puzzles, take road trips, play outside or watch movies and that's all they knew. Once technology was introduced, it completely changed the way we relax and spend our down time. 

Caiden didn't get his first cell phone until Christmas in the 6th grade. He was known at school as being "the iPad kid" so we broke down and gifted him with his first phone. He loved it and we began monitoring his activity. The group messaging started and he loved being able to stay in touch with friends. Not only did he text and call friends throughout the day but he would also facetime with buddies to do homework and study together. These are things I don't have a problem with at all, staying in touch with real life friends. 

Even though we have not allowed them to use any social media platforms (other than BeReal), most of their spare time is spent on their devices either messaging/facetiming with friends or watching YouTube. What's frustrating that even after all the years we spent not allowing them to use technology, checking their iPad/phone often became a bad habit very quickly. I don't blame this on anyone and I actually feel like we have the advantage as parents, to be able to teach them responsible phone usage while they are living under our roof. Our parents didn't have that luxury. By the time social media was introduced we were out of the house and left to establish our own boundaries and define what a healthy relationship with our phone was. Even now I set timing limitation for certain websites, I limit myself to 1 hour per day for facebook/IG and TikTok and hold myself accountable for not extending the time limit I set.

I do have time limits set for YouTube for the boys and for the most part they never ask for more time. The problem is when their time is up, they get really board really fast. To help combat this, I created a short list of things to do besides being on our phone and wanted to share here.


·         Read a book

·         Clean or organize your room

·         Exercise

·         Do your laundry

·         Do a puzzle 

·         Play a board game

·         Play solitaire 

·         Shoot hoops 

·         Study for a test

·         Invite friends over to swim

·         Paint

·         Ride bikes 

·         Learn a new craft 

·         Bake something 

·         Set things aside for the next garage sale

·         Make a pile of things to donate

·         Plan a meal

·         Go for a walk or run

·         Make a photo collage

·         Make a vision board or scrap book 

·         Watch an old movie 

·         Plan a vacation

·         Plan a day trip

·         Write a birthday card or thank you note